Quick one on the Presidential telenovella

Apparently today the police will set up a panel to probe Madam First Lady’s ADC, a chap called Usman Shugaba. They will also discipline him and the five others, and then ensure that they are not returned to her excellency’s vicinity.

Then we can all go home happily, while another set of policemen will be sent to Madam First Lady to ensure her every whim is fulfilled. Problem not solved. Vintage Nigeria.

You see, the fact that up to 80% of our policemen are handbags to our low quality elite ensures that those policemen exist to serve the whims and caprices of said elite.

Here is where Madam Buhari has (consistently) shown that she is not much more than Iya Sikira that my wife buys fish from at Ketu Market — she is always at the scene of the crime. Last year, we were treated to a video of her screaming like Ovlaria from New Masquerade.

During last Thursday’s festivities, she was present with three of her children, Zahra, Halima and Yusuf. I may be wrong, I don’t really follow such nonsense, but I gather that both Zahra and Halima are married. If that is true, then what are they doing living with their mother? Or is the Villa now the family house for the Buhari sons-in-law? Also, despite that they are the products of President Buhari’s sperm, these three individuals are adults and private citizens. They should be facing assault proceedings as much as Usman Shugaba and his menagerie.

Shielding the adult children of the big man ensures that no lesson will be learned, and Aisha and her corterie will simply bide their time, wait for another opportunity to get at Tunde Sebiu, and then strike again. And the new ADC and police guards, who will remain poorly paid and thus very loyal, will again be used to pursue this personal agenda.

Speaking of Tunde Sebiu, who the fuck is he? What business of state is he involved in that he flew to Lagos? Oh, his wife had a baby and so they are suddenly more important than the rest of us?

At least in the UK when Dominic Cummings did that nonsense, the whole country went up in an uproar, and trust me, it will bite Boris Johnson the way Peter Mandelson bit Tony Blair. These are the little things that separate “saner climes” from failed states such as ours.