Quick one on why this govt can’t #EndSARS

By now it should be obvious that there is precious little willpower on the part of the government to do what has been asked of it and disband the obnoxious police unit called SARS. The best we are going to get is renaming the unit, shifting positions, and outright belligerence like the shameful spectacle of policemen refusing to work because they felt hurt by the protests, and today’s fun and games of the IG asking a court to stop all the panels into police brutality.

I think it’s important to ask why the government seems so unable, and indeed unwilling, to stop police brutality. I’ve given it a bit of thought, and for me, the answer comes down to money. Nigeria is pretty skint. You see, broke, is when I’ve finished paying my kids’ school fees, but I know that by the end of the month my employer will transfer some money to me. At that point, I don’t have cash in hand, but I know that a few weeks hence, that problem will be sorted. So it behoves me to plan properly so that the cashless period won’t last too long.

Bankrupt on the other hand, is when on a salary of ₦100k per month, I have to pay school fees of ₦75k per term for each of four kids, which translates to ₦300k every four months, or ₦75k per month, and then still take a loan that I have to service with ₦19k per month. That essentially leaves me with ₦6k per month to do everything else, and we all know that it is pretty much only Agege bread that can be eaten each day with ₦6k per month these days…

Yes, Nigeria spent 94% of its revenue settling gbese in the first half of this year, and therein lies the problem.

I’ve had cause to ask this before: what happens when Nigeria’s federal government finally runs out of money to a) continue servicing its rather expansive patronage networks; b) pay the members of the security services?

You see, as far as the Nigerian system is concerned, there are three topline charges — debt, because after we were “forgiven” in 2003, the lenders gave themselves sense, and since then, any time we want to dig into that hole, our loans are structured as ISPOs (irrevocable standing payment orders) that are taken at source. We can’t avoid those. The other two topline charges are, first, the patronage networks — political hangers-on who the elite believe to have influence, religious and traditional rulers.

The final topline charge are the security services. They have to be kept sweet because they have guns, and you don’t want your DSS bodyguard arranging with kidnappers to pick your wife up you know.

The problem is, if you have only 6% of your revenue left after paying gbese, then you don’t have much to settle Kasali. So you have to choose between Kasali and Chief as to who will get settled.

This problem is solved when you realise that you’ve given Kasali a gun, so he can go and settle himself. So you turn a blind eye, and it doesn’t matter what some silly little kids say. Kasali has to eat.

That is the end of my story.